In a February 2014 Huffington Divorce Blog Post, Valerie DeLoach gives individuals 5 guidelines to follow if your ex-spouse is a conflict addict.
Ms. DeLoach says,”If you have found yourself in a high conflict divorce with an ex-spouse who berates you when given the chance or fights you on everything from finances to extracurricular activities to phone contact, just remember that your ex is most likely one of these conflict addicts who needs conflict with you to avoid having to take a hard look at his/her own life. The constant control he/she desires is only to keep what they feel is left of the control they had in the marital relationship. They will claim to be over the relationship, but they are ultimately causing conflict in an effort to cling to what they once had.”
To help people when dealing with a conflict addict ex-spouse, Ms. DeLoach suggests the following five guidelines:
- Limit the amount of time you spend on dealing with issues relating to your ex-spouse.
- Limit the amount of time you spend discussing the issues relating to your ex-spouse with your current partner.
- Create a space in your home where you refrain from discussing your ex-spouse or the issues related to your ex-spouse.
- Don’t be bullied by your ex-spouse. Choose not to respond to bullying attempts and recognize those attempts for what they are–a sad attempt to exert control over you.
- Keep up the good fight. If there is a Court order in place, make sure you are following the Court order. This can be hard if your ex-spouse fails to follow the order. Keep a journal of issues that arise and your attempts to resolve those issues.
If you are dealing with these issues or other divorce issues, and would like to speak with an attorney, consider contacting Sorensen Law Group to set up a consultation with a Utah family law attorney.